is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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