this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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