Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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