.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
