I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
