Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
