If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
