So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
