my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
