i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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