Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
