I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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