I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
