I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
