this beer tastes like vomit already
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
