On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
