I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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