His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
