think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
