Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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