you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
