she woke up with a sticky ear
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
