if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
