champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
