I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
