"it" just moved
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Randomize
