I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
