You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
