check it out our google latitudes are spooning
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
