STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
