Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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