Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
