He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
