We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
