i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
