I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Randomize
