I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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