I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
where are my eyebrows?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
