i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
