hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The air was thick with penises
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
