My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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