Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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