are you still at the devil's house?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
