jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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