Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
