these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
