I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
