then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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