You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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