i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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