forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
