ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
