i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
