I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
